Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize