It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
