He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
