Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Randomize
