Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
