but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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