Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
