i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
