it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
