Your face is a jimmy john
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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