Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
