Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I will be naked everywhere
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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