I think my vagina is haunted
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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