it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I met the friendliest cop last night
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
