dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
