no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
