Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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