She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
