how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
