sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
