you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
