A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
