The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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