forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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