we have officially lost it.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
