I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Randomize
