I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I need to stop coming to work sober
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
