what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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