went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I am mentally ready for anal.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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