didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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