Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
