And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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