well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize