i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
