why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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