Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize