yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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