so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize