Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
