i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize