just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
