I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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