if i can run in heels then i can drive
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
