i permit you to call me
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Randomize
