Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
