For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
