remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
