So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
