yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
there is glitter all over my balls
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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