I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
