I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize