can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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