I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Randomize
