Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
