doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
