fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
